Cookie Monster on the Dole

I’m a big fan of Cookie Monster

Once he’s unemployed, his thoughts in this New Yorker article are hilarious. Who can not fall for such sentence?


Me trying to transition into this new life chapter with grace.

What strange to Muppet community is Muppets always like Donald Trump. Donald Trump always somehow seem like kindred spirit. Donald Trump seem like slightly more organized Fraggle. […] Joe Pesci play Ronald Grump and spit on Elmo. But mocking was gentle. Mocking gentle, and plus we give lots airtime. Donald Trump like airtime. Airtime is hair time. The letter “H”!

Me talk to agent about possible second career as recording artist, because me often mistaken for gravel-voiced singer Tom Waits. Me think me has everything Tom Waits has, plus me is blue. Sad songs from blue person, very good, very meta. Agent laugh. Agent say more realistic direction is recovery memoir and ted talk.

Me remind government that Cookie Monster have no eyelids. Me remind government that Cookie Monster always watching.